Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day!

Thank you to all those who fought for our freedom and those that continue to fight for us. Thank you for giving me these precious moments with my nephew.

Come back in a few days for new posts :)

Ready for Summer!

If you know me, you know I LOVE summer. I've got some exciting plans ... even if my summer is shorter than most teachers. (oh the joys of working at a charter school) What are you most looking forward to?

Check back on the Summer Bucket List tag to see how I'm doing. I've got 12 things on my list so far.

-SMORGASBURG there's a mini smorgasburg at South Street Seaport --I tried the Ramen burger for the first time and of course had a Red Hook Lobster Pound Lobster Roll :)
-ROOFTOP BARS
-NYC RESTAURANT WEEK went to Park Avenue Summer, Cherry, & Blue Water Grill
-MIAMI (JULY 8-14) done --sad it's over, but looking forward to Spain
-SPAIN (JULY 30-AUGUST 9) had a wonderful time despite the crazy hot weather!
-FARMER'S MARKETS
-THROW A BBQ threw a bbq for july 4th, having a family bbq july 19th
-HAMPTONS TRIP/WINE TASTING
-MAKE HOMEMADE LEMONADE
-HAVE A PICNIC
-READ 3 BOOKS
-GO TO A CONCERT  rascal flatts concert in west palm beach, fl.

A Letter for Grandpa

That is a Chinese Proverb that I absolutely love and whole-heartedly believe in. No matter where I am in life, my family is home to me.

I lost my grandpa in September of 2013. It was the hardest day of my life and I am still not 100% over it. He passed away of a stroke, I spent my birthday at the hospital with him that year. I didn't know that he would pass away 6 days later. There is so much I wish I could say to him. I wrote this letter to him a while ago and I'm finally ready to share it.

Grandpa,
I wasn't ready for you to go. I thought I still had years with you. You were my favorite person in the entire world and I am so lost without you. I am lucky to now have my own guardian angel and I know you're always looking over me but it's just not the same as having you here. I miss our walks to the supermarket, grabbing McDonald's or dim sum together (2 of your favorite things for lunch), taking you to your doctor appointments, walking through the door of the Brooklyn house and knowing you're there waiting. I miss that no matter how old I got, if you were at mommy & daddy's house and I was home, you would walk into my room in the middle of the night to check on me and fix my blanket. I always knew you were there, I always pretended I was asleep. You gave me such comfort. It breaks my heart knowing that you won't be there for my wedding day as I always dreamed of you walking me down the aisle with daddy. It pains me that if I have children, your great grandchildren will never get to know you. However, I promise that your legacy will live on through me. I will teach them all the morals and values you've taught me. I will carry our family traditions and they will know all about the greatest man in my world. There will never be enough words to explain the impact you've had on my life. Nothing will ever fill the void in my heart. Thank you for loving grandma the way you did and for showing me what true, unconditional love really means. I strive to have the love you two did one day. I always hold you close to my heart and I miss you every single day. People weren't right when they said time would heal the pain. If anything, every day that you haven't been here gets harder. I love you so much and hope that I am making you proud.

Love,
Lorraine

Loving Myself After the Hurt

Something I have always struggled with is self-love and self-acceptance. Although I put up a tough exterior, I have a lot of insecurities just like anyone else.

It has taken my entire teen years and almost my entire 20's to finally love myself for who I am flaws and all. The road hasn't been easy. It's taken a lot of obstacles and heartbreak. I wouldn't change it for anything, though. All the bumps along the way has led me to where I am currently and that is: happy with myself.

I was one of those girls who thought I needed a guy by my side to be happy. I didn't think it was possible to find happiness within myself. After a heartbreak, I would put myself back into the dating game almost immediately. I never gave myself the time to process anything or get to the root of where my relationships went wrong.

After taking a step back and re-assessing my life, I realized that for once I needed to put myself first and make myself happy. I also had to believe that I was worthy to be loved by someone else. I had been so beaten down by the guys I dated in the past, I didn't even know who I was anymore. I am slowly starting to re-build myself. I see a glimpse of the core of who I used to be and I am excited for this journey of self love and finding myself.

I finally have a job that I love, a supportive family, and the most wonderful group of friends. Things are coming together and I'm looking forward to what this last year in my 20's has in store for me! One thing I know for sure is, I will keep loving myself and focus on the things that matter. Love can wait ;)