Monday, May 18, 2015

A Letter for Grandpa

That is a Chinese Proverb that I absolutely love and whole-heartedly believe in. No matter where I am in life, my family is home to me.

I lost my grandpa in September of 2013. It was the hardest day of my life and I am still not 100% over it. He passed away of a stroke, I spent my birthday at the hospital with him that year. I didn't know that he would pass away 6 days later. There is so much I wish I could say to him. I wrote this letter to him a while ago and I'm finally ready to share it.

I wasn't ready for you to go. I thought I still had years with you. You were my favorite person in the entire world and I am so lost without you. I am lucky to now have my own guardian angel and I know you're always looking over me but it's just not the same as having you here. I miss our walks to the supermarket, grabbing McDonald's or dim sum together (2 of your favorite things for lunch), taking you to your doctor appointments, walking through the door of the Brooklyn house and knowing you're there waiting. I miss that no matter how old I got, if you were at mommy & daddy's house and I was home, you would walk into my room in the middle of the night to check on me and fix my blanket. I always knew you were there, I always pretended I was asleep. You gave me such comfort. It breaks my heart knowing that you won't be there for my wedding day as I always dreamed of you walking me down the aisle with daddy. It pains me that if I have children, your great grandchildren will never get to know you. However, I promise that your legacy will live on through me. I will teach them all the morals and values you've taught me. I will carry our family traditions and they will know all about the greatest man in my world. There will never be enough words to explain the impact you've had on my life. Nothing will ever fill the void in my heart. Thank you for loving grandma the way you did and for showing me what true, unconditional love really means. I strive to have the love you two did one day. I always hold you close to my heart and I miss you every single day. People weren't right when they said time would heal the pain. If anything, every day that you haven't been here gets harder. I love you so much and hope that I am making you proud.


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